When I was in sales, I had a boss who never spoke to me outside meetings for an entire year. Not kidding. Not even a “hello”. This was not the case for the two top performers on the team. Not only did they get a “hello”, they had lunch together and chatted frequently about non-work related subjects. Only until I surpassed sales records did I become a member of the “in crowd”. Needless to say, the morale on our team was filled with frought and disgruntled people.
Angles Arriene, a cultural anthropologist, tells us that around the world, everyone needs three things:
Taking it a step further, Gavin de Becker, writer of The Gift of Fear is a master at studying human behavior. He explains there are “some broad strokes that can be fairly applied to most of us:
- We seek connection with others.
- We are saddened by loss and try to avoid it.
- We dislike rejection.
- We like recognition and attention.
- We will do more to avoid pain than we will do to seek pleasure.
- We dislike ridiculue and embarrassment.
- We care what others think of us.
- We seek a degree of control over our lives.
While the context of his book is related to violent behavior, it applies to the workplace as well, particularly with disgruntled employees.